Spiritual Gold Digger

No, this post is not about Kanye West nor his feud with Taylor Swift. I’m sorry to disappoint. It is rather, a post about your relationship with God and the place you stand with him.

I thought about this upon reading a book I stumbled upon in Half Price Books one day called, “Angry Conversations with God”. In this wonderful book (Go read it.. seriously.. I picked it up for $2)… the main character Susan, goes to couples counseling with God. Boy does she need it. The book is overcome with all kinds of sarcasm, greed, misfortune, and heartbreak. But when I got to thinking what made me any different, I couldn’t fathom up an answer.

The main purpose comes to a head towards the end of the book when Susan gets mad at God for not giving her the life she wanted and prayed for. The problem was she felt more entitlement from God than intimacy. Suddenly, she can’t hear his voice anymore, she loses her job, her boyfriend, and finds herself with no one. Do you ever remember being small and begging your parents for something and getting no as an answer? I could whine, complain, and give my parents the cold shoulder for hours until I was blue in the face. Why? Because I thought I had DESERVED what I wanted.

Maybe you’re a little like Susan. If you came into this marriage with God because you thought his purpose for you was power, money, and glory… you my friend are a spiritual gold digger. I promise I’m not trying to hurt your feelings, and I don’t want to step on any toes. But do you really think you are so holy as to tell your Lord how to do his job?! If you are sitting there whining and pouting because He’s not giving you what you think He’s promised, are you saying you are holier and wiser than He?

If that’s you and that’s the God you married. Divorce him. WHAT? Divorce God? What is she sayin I thought this was a spiritual blog?! It is. I encourage you to be an active follower of Christ. But you’ve married Him for the wrong reasons, and you can not seek His love when it is not everything you want from Him. So step back and marry God because He is love. Marry Him and make disciples. BE a disciple.

I’m not saying that in your relationship with Him that you won’t find yourself calling out, asking what in the heck is going on in your life. I’m not saying you won’t feel like everything in your life has been burnt to ashes. I’m not saying that there will be days you will call on God and you will not hear a voice back. I am saying actively seek the Lord for who He is not what you want from him.

In the book they discuss how easy it is to get angry at God in the “Dark Night’s of the Soul”. How frustrating to feel like God wants us to climb a mountain after he has just burnt down our home and left us all alone. I heard a pastor one time use the analogy of cinder blocks, and it’s one that will always live in my mind. When we sin, or ignore God, or walk away from time to time, we start to build these heavy cinder blocks up into a wall. And it’s not that God is getting farther away from us or walking away, it’s that we have built this wall so high we can’t hear him as well anymore. We start to believe that maybe He just isn’t listening. BUT MY DEAR FRIEND NO. YOU hold the power to break down that wall.

I know it’s frustrating to feel all alone but the same God who breathed life into the valley of dust and dry bones and breathed new life will breathe life back into YOU. I know because I too have had my fair share of dark night’s of the soul. But trust me when I tell you that taking a sledge hammer to your cinder block wall will be the best decision you ever made. He is there with his arms wide open. *cue Hillsong Worship Song*

Trust in the Lord because He is the creator. Sometimes His plan may not be what you want for yourself, but actively seek Him anyway. He knows what’s good for you more than you do, remember that. Do not whine when you don’t get what you want, what He wants for you is much greater than what you could’ve planned or yourself. Put Him before it all.

“The climactic moment is: Am I going to trust God when there is nothing else? Will I go up to the top of the mountain even if there is no trail?”
“So are you going to go up the mountain?” Andrea asked.
“I have to ! I’d rather die on the mountain than lie around in Death Valley.”
“How will you know it’s God when you see him?”
“I’ll know him from every dream I’ve dreamed, every conversation I’ve imagined. I’ll know him by every longing for love or rumor of beauty; it will be there right on his face.”
“How do you know you’ll get there?”
“Because there’s nowhere else I want to go.”

– Angry Conversations with God by Susan Isaacs


Buckle Up

Sorry about no post yesterday on here, but I think I needed the reminder that things are not always wrapped in a tight little bow. Yesterday I went with my mother just to look around at David’s Bridal for dresses and to get an idea of what I wanted. Little did I know, I would end up trying on a couple and find THE ONE. I was so overcome with emotions and tears because I finally felt like a bride and my mother felt it too.

Picture perfect right? Wrong. I had no idea that just three hours later I would be sitting in a parking lot in the dark of night with my fiance trying to change my flat tire. In that moment, I had the decision to let that circumstance ruin my day, ruin my entire moment. I could have let it steal the joy I felt just a few hours earlier and being a person with intense anxiety, I had a million questions running through my brain. What time does Tire Discounters open? Will they be able to fix it or will I need an entire new tire? Can we afford to do all of this, I mean we have so much to pay for?

My fiance drove me to Tire Discounters this morning even though he didn’t have to be up for work until 1. Tire Discounters fixed my tire for $26 and I was only ten minutes late for work. Why in the world am I giving you a play by play of my life? Because I got the reality check I needed. Our lives will never be nice and neat and there will be moments that try and steal your joy. It’s the same way with our relationship with God. Are you always going to be happy with what God is putting you through? No. You can get angry with God, you can yell and cry and bring it all to him. He can take it!

Did I want to be sitting in a parking lot at 12:30 at night when I had to be up early for work? No. But I learned how to work together with my fiance and when the tire was back on, I felt like we had successfully accomplished something. He will never put you through something for no reason. God’s ultimate goal is not to make you miserable and unhappy, that’s Satan. For a long time I thought I could only talk to God when I closed my eyes and prayed. But when I tell you that that is just the enemy getting into your ear, I mean it. God is always ready, arms wide open, ears ready, to listen to you.

James 1:12 (NIV) “Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the victor’s crown, the life God has promised to those who love him.”

33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

Rom 8:37 (Jer) These are the trials through which we triumph, by the power of him who loved us.

There are so many places in scripture where we are reminded of the power of the Lord our God. You will have bad days. There is no doubt about it. You will have days where everything feels like it’s going wrong and you just want to cry out, “WHY GOD WHY.” But know that through your trials and tribulations God is with you, and he is preparing you for something so much greater than you could ever imagine. A popped tire is something so small on a scale of bad things. But I still in the moment felt like I didn’t deserve that kind of trouble. The truth of it is, we didn’t deserve God’s love either, but we are so blessed with His love and grace.

When you become a Christian you are not promised rainbows and butterflies. When you become a Christian you vow to take on the pains of this world because He took away pain for us. Give it all to him, leave it all at his feet. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. You are more than the messes you face in life. Don’t let your circumstances define you, let them be the boulder in which you climb to conquer the mountain. Shout His name from the top and spread His word. Remember it’s all in the journey and sometimes it’s going to get a little bumpy. Grab the ultimate user manual (BIBLE) and buckle up cutie.

peace and blessings XOXOX